i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
