she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
