We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
