I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
