i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
