So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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