NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize