i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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