He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You are the jesus of drinking
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
