Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
