Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
