I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
