i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
