her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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