the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
