A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
