Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
