that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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