Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
