There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize