its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
