The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize