If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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