I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
