it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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