y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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