ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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