Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
