Bisexual people are plain selfish.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
