i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
