dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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