Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
