dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
