Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
