he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
