My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
