Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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