No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
