Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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