he wants to bone in the snuggie
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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