A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
