Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
