i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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