i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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