I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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