ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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