Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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