You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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