She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
