32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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