I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
