He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
