i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
