So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Mom said you looked used
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
