no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
