Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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