Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
