Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
