is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
