Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
