Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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