I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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