Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
