every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
