and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
