I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
