I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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