drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
