He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
